


Professional Griefers

by dvorak



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF, The Creatures (Youtube RPF)
Genre: kind of gta au but not in los santos, not explicitly based on the song, the creatures show up in the third chapter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-04
Updated: 2015-11-23
Packaged: 2018-04-07 14:36:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4266945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dvorak/pseuds/dvorak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alliances between gangs prove immaterial and subject to change when third parties show up.<br/>(aka the creatures fuck shit up)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Surprise!

It was a Sunday morning, bright and early, like any normal Sunday morning, really.

The morning dew reflected the sunlight and the silence of a peaceful daybreak were interrupted by a sudden screech of tires and the scent of burnt rubber. No one took mind of the disturbance, as the only witnesses were the perpetrators, the only inhabitants of the long abandoned neighborhood.

A black Pegassi Infernus with orange lines raced down torn asphalt and three voices could barely be heard over the roar of the wheels and the rush of adrenaline roaring in the men’s ears.

Screams of pure car fueled ecstasy still filled the air even after the men slid into a parked position next to a curb and the spray of loose gravel hit the concrete sidewalk around two other men. Neither men even blinked as the gravel scattered around them, one even rolled his eyes and scratched his beard as he watched those occupying the Pegassi practically jump out.

“Hey, has Kovic called yet? He should be done with that deal.” A man with thick glasses hopped up onto the curb, resting his arm on the chain link fence that bordered an overgrown lawn and run down shack. He fussed with his hair, dark and styled to resemble something you could compare to Clark Kent, and raised an eyebrow in question towards the other men as they dusted themselves off.

Another man, shorter and noticed easily by his red hat shook his head as he checked his phone, “Nah, Adam said the deal might take another hour or so, since Ramsey is playing chicken with Burnie.”

“Well, since when has Adam been one to pass up an opportunity to drive free cars? I’m betting fifty that he’s just sucking up to the Fake AH Crew for leverage or something.” A well-built man grinned, his blue eyes shining with leftover excitement and adrenaline as he practically swaggered to where the two others were standing,

“Fifty-hundred?” Bruce challenged with a simple raise of an eyebrow.

“Thousand.”

“Please, Adam wouldn’t put himself that low.”

“Fifty-five then.”

“James, please, make it sixty and I’m in.”

“Fifty-seven, them’s the breaks, Bruce.”

“Fine, Willems, fifty-seven thousand that Adam isn’t kissing ass for a few guns.”

“You got yourself a deal, Greene.”

“If you two are done flirting,” A scruffy, shorter man walked up to the group and smirked at Bruce and James, “we do have to get back to the apartment to take in inventory while Adam’s gone, since we were technically supposed to finish it three hours ago.”

“Psh, the guns’ll be there when we get there, same with all of the tech we got in the last shipment, Matt.” James dismissed the thought of leaving the neighborhood in favor of chores and turned to the others, “Hey, Spoole, what happened last time we forgot to do weekly inventory?”

“Nothing!” Sean replied with a crooked grin and adjusted his hat to block the sunlight from his gaze.

“Exactly! Joel, tell him!” James threw his arms up in exasperation as he continued to ignore the glare from a certain Matt Peake.

“Actually, we should probably get back soon—“ Joel started, but was suddenly interrupted by a groan from James, to which he simply rolled his eyes and continued, “And finish that game of Peggle that Geoff lent us. We could finish inventory in the meantime. I'm sure that Lawrence doesn't mind going back to check on his beloved anime dolls." Lawrence made a noise of protest, more because of the fact that they were figurines, Joel, get it right.

James immediately perked up at the idea of shirking “chores” in favor of video games and immediately jumped onto Joel,

“Much better!” James grinned as he felt Joel struggle under his weight, and let himself fall so he could stand on his own. Matt looked on unimpressed as he crossed his arms and tapped his foot expectantly against the concrete.

“Race you!” Lawrence immediately called out as soon as an unsaid consensus was reached, sprinting towards a hot pink Pegassi Infernus that was parked in the street. Amidst cries of ‘shotgun!’ and footsteps, Lawrence smirked as somehow Matt and Spoole collided with each other in front of the passenger door.

Soon enough all six of the men had piled into the cars that had been parked haphazardly in the abandoned streets and had started their short drive to their apartment and base of operations.

The six men arrived at the apartment and were standing at the doors outside of Lawrence’s loft in a matter of minutes.

"Who bets we could hundred percent peggle 2 faster than Geoff did?" James offered as Lawrence fumbled with his keys to his place. Three of the guys just smirked at the challenge, knowing full well of the gang boss's celebration for him hundred percenting the infamous game.

People were hungover for days.

Finally, Lawrence pulled up the right key and just as he turned the door knob, Spoole and Joel pushed past him and were followed by the others to fall into a pile at the door frame.

"Hey, uh, guys?" Lawrence stood dumbfounded at the sight he beheld, "I don't remember ever leaving the living room in this condition."

The room in question was simply put: trashed.

The flat-screen that Joel had stolen for Lawrence the first week they had met was smashed in, blu-rays and CDs were smashed and strewn across the room, the glass coffee table was destroyed, with pieces of wood everywhere, and most importantly of all, Lawrence's collection of possible figurines had been abused and some had burn marks.

This was something Funhaus could not exactly be responsible for, especially since Lawrence had always been kind enough to let the group use his high-ceiling loft as their base and storage.

That left only the one option and easy answer to consider:

"Lawrence! You were robbed!" James sputtered at the sight as the rest of Funhaus slowly got up and took in the chaos, their mouths agape and the brows furrowed.

"Thanks Captain Obvious, I didn't notice." Lawrence stepped over the other man's legs and surveyed the room, his mood souring with every piece of furniture he saw that had been overturned. “We can’t exactly go to the cops for this, can we?”

“Well, not really, seeing as we’re a gang that’s affiliated with the Fake AH Crew.” Matt muttered as he nudged the dirt of a potted plant away from him. Bruce made a noise of agreement as he looked around the room,

“Maybe we should check your other rooms, namely the back rooms.” The others agreed, only to hear footsteps behind them as their de facto leader had arrived.

“Hey guys? I sealed the deal with Burns and Ramsey, we’re getting the RPGs we were promised a month ago…” Adam trailed off as he looked up from a small piece of paper that Burnie had ripped and tossed to Adam with the simple explanation of it being his receipt. “What happened?”

It took a whole minute for Adam to take in the chaos that the others had just moment before, and even after that, he still had this confused look on his face, before his brows furrowed and his mouth tightened in anger, “What the fuck happened? I thought you said your place was safe, Lawrence.”

“Hey, don’t blame me! And in case you didn’t notice, my place is trashed! A personal space that I live in!” Lawrence balled up his fists and he could feel himself tense up, ignoring the looks from the others as angry tears threatened to fall down his cheeks. Adam only sighed in response before shoving his way past the other six men and walked straight for the back room. Matt attempted to stop him, but was in turn stopped by Bruce as he shook his head, silently telling him and the others to leave him be. Matt frowned, but let his hands fall to his sides.

Lawrence ran a hand through his hair and wiped his eyes as he prepared himself for whatever would present itself in the rest of his rooms. He began to regret the decision to let the others use his loft as a base of operations, despite the ease of access it provided to everyone and the fact that Lawrence could easily transition from business to a casual environment without having the guys offer him questioning looks.

* * *

_It was only their third week as an official gang, or at least however professional a gang could be. The sun was setting and Lawrence, Adam, and Bruce stood at an old computer that was perilously perched atop a stack of wooden boxes. Adam sat on top of another box, tapping away at the keyboard and watching as numbers appeared on the screen and bank accounts were listed under the fake names that funhaus used._

_“You know, this would be a lot easier if we didn’t have to move this piece of junk around and if we could just use someone’s actual computer.” Bruce muttered as he watched Adam stab at the space bar, “I mean, sure, it’d also be faster if we had Joel or Spoole here but-”_

_“Everyone but us three have been spec’d by the local police, and the Fake AH Crew know where the others live too, and I’m not willing to put my place under suspicion.” Adam frowned as he watched the numbers stream down and ignored the small noise of annoyance from Bruce. Lawrence hummed and mulled over what Adam had said as the two bickered about both the fact that ‘no, Bruce, even if we did use a faster car we couldn’t break any more laws than we do daily’ and the fact that ‘yes, Bruce, we are going to be sticking to these abandoned warehouses until we get chased out, damnit, stop bugging me about it’._

_“You know…” Lawrence started talking before he could fully think over what he began saying, both Adam and Bruce turned to him and looked at him expectantly as he continued, “We could always use my place. I just moved in from my old apartment and I’m fairly sure it’s safe.” Lawrence started rushing and he would think back to this moment and how his mind was practically blank, as he was just spewing words and he couldn’t exactly stop, but neither Bruce nor Adam were exactly stopping him, in fact, they started smiling with some sort of odd hope and excitement, their facial expressions escalating as Lawrence continued,_

_“I paid in all cash, and I have this weird room that just super long and empty, so why not use it for our base? I could put some shelves and computers in there too. Just a thought, you don’t have to--”_

_“It sounds perfect, thanks, Lawrence.”_

* * *

“FUCK!” the others heard from down the hall as Adam’s voice was accompanied by a crash and more expletives. Lawrence was the first to reach the room that Adam had been in, and he could only let out an exhausted groan as he took in the room for a moment, but turned away quickly.

Lawrence watched the others for their reactions as they took in the fact that all of their weapons were either destroyed or gone, and the maps of El Logro, Terrace Park, with the surrounding suburbs were torn, the paper remnants decorated with crudely drawn dicks. The months spent preparing for heists and just collecting the best weapons they could had been rendered useless in just a few hours, and none of the men that looked upon the wreckage was really ready to take in the fact that their hard work had been ruined.

Matt stepped towards the corner that housed Joel and Spoole’s set-ups for cameras and the police radio, and moved the mouse experimentally. The screen didn’t respond, and nothing happened when Spoole rushed over and inspected the hard drive that was sitting precariously on the edge of the desk,

“Oh no…” Spoole sniffled as he noted the smashed parts and the pieces were dangerously close to falling off. Joel followed him in his attempt to recover any of the encrypted information that they both had slaved over in case of any break-in.

“Everything’s been wiped. This would have taken an experienced hacker, someone that would know their way around our encryptions.” Joel turned to the others, his mind racing through names and titles that communities he had met online housed, but he shook his head after a few moments after Spoole frowned at him, his mind coming up blank as well.

Adam leaned onto the metal table that was in the center of the room. A large canvas map of Los Santos and of El Logro side by side was ripped, tearing the two cities apart, his breath was heavy with anger and his usual stoic calm was crumbling with every minute spent in their meeting room.

Adam’s palms were splayed on the cool metal as he breathed slowly, collecting his thoughts and fighting to relax and calm himself down. He had to lead this gang, even if they needed to take a breather, his instincts called for a retaliation, but who would do something like this? Against a crew that was in cahoots with the Fake AH Crew?

Adam would get his answer soon enough.

“Well, might as well check the other rooms.” James said as he held up an intact cd, one of the demo disks that Bruce had dug up from his college days. Matt nodded and Lawrence frowned but followed as the two started to leave the room.

Adam listlessly followed the others, leaving Joel, Spoole, and James to attempt their recovery of any sort of data. The first rooms they checked was Lawrence’s room and the guest rooms across the hall, and both were relatively untouched save for Lawrence’s dresser emptied and its contents strewn across his bed. Lawrence took it in stride, seeing as most of his personal affects were basically untouched and fairly safe.

The next stop for the boys was to the kitchen. Unsurprisingly, the kitchen was fairly safe, save for a cupboard that was left ajar. Lawrence also noted that his alcohol had been severely depleted.

After Bruce, Matt, Lawrence, and Adam had checked what they needed to replace in the kitchen (a loaf of whole-wheat bread, butter, I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter!, beer, orange juice, and some Chinese takeout), they made their slow journey to the room they dreaded to check, the Game Room.

“Holy shit.” Lawrence breathed out as he took in the sight of the room.

“At least we know who did it.” Adam gritted his teeth as the other three simply stared at the black and green emblem that was spray-painted on top of the flat screen, consoles, and game displays.

Lawrence sat down on the leather couch and cradled his head in his hands, and both Matt and Bruce joined him on either side, dumbstruck at the implications that the vandalism brought.

It was a simple emblem, a black solid circle with four curve lines forming an almost circle around a green rubber duck.

It was the emblem of the Fake AH Crew.

 ****  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FIRST FIC YEAH!!  
> hi im dvorak and these are words!  
> i haven't edited anything past the customary speed read, sorry!  
> romance is on the backburner til i decide what goes and the major plot, lmao
> 
> @ homelandsociety.tumblr.com


	2. Calm Before the Shitstorm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, so during the later part of the week that ive been writing this ive been either sick or downright feeling like total feces, so apologies in advance for the feces rearing its gross face in my writing. ://///
> 
> i promise i'll edit this chapter at least when im capable of normal thought again

“You heard me!”

“No, I definitely heard you, my question was, if I heard you correctly.”

“Don’t be coy, Ramsey, we both know you did it!”

“Adam, do you really think I would be dumb enough to actually turn on you and your crew while we were discussing weapons and what you all would have access to?” Geoff bit back a sigh as he blocked out whatever reply Adam could have had, silently thanking whatever being was watching over him (or, at least, his luck that the Funhaus gang boss didn’t bother driving over to Geoff’s penthouse) that Adam had called and couldn’t see his face.

Once Adam’s voice died out and all Geoff could hear was Adam’s short huffy breaths after his rant, he simply said in the most driest tone he could manage: “Look, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Good luck on whatever you’re bitching about, Kovic.” And hung up.

“Geoff…” A voice intoned behind him, the low rumble of the voice relaxing Geoff immediately and identifying him as his closest friend and second-in-command, Jack Pattillo.

“What, Jack?”

“Was that really the best thing to say to Adam? We don’t even really know what happened there, but the others are getting angry texts and phone calls.” Jack frowned at Geoff as the kingpin rubbed his eyes.

“Not really, but honestly, Adam and the others have been throwing their weight around too much, so whatever happened probably was deserved.” Geoff shrugged at Jack’s huff of disapproval,

“Do you even really know what happened to the Funhaus crew?”

“What? No, I wasn’t really paying attention to Adam. Dude, you know I’m hungover as dicks right now. It’s enough that I had to deal with Burnie and Gus, but having Adam on my ass about his damn rpgs all day? I had enough of him before he called me and screamed of treason or whatever!” A silence followed Geoff’s outburst, the tension between Geoff and Jack was thick and uncomfortable, but it was there.

“Exactly what did Adam say, Geoff?” Jack gritted out as he struggled against his every instinct to throttle Geoff.

“I don’t know, he said something about trash and Lawrence’s place, I tuned out after Adam pretty much screamed into the phone when I picked up.” Geoff shrugged and walked out to his balcony.

“Geoff, the Funhaus base has been utterly trashed, someone’s framing us too. Gavin told me that Bruce sent him a few pictures of the damage, not to mention someone painting our emblem in one of their rooms.” Jack followed Geoff to the balcony and frowned, “Are you even listening?”

The two men stood outside, their view overlooked the majority of El Logro and then, if you squinted, the makings of Terrace Park in the distance. Jack stood behind Geoff, waiting for an answer,

“Geoff, you know, if you ju--”

“Do you remember why we added the Funhausers to our Crew? Why we struck that alliance with them?” Geoff didn’t move, but Jack could practically see Geoff’s lopsided grin at the memory,

* * *

_It was raining, as it always was when times were dramatic, or at least, that’s what Geoff thought._

_The Fake AH Crew had been planning this heist for months, down the amount of flares and explosives Michael would be bringing. The only thing that they had not planned on was the weather, and rain wasn’t exactly the most ideal type of weather that the Crew had been hoping for._

_“Dude, this blows.” Ray leaned back against the back of the leather sofa in Geoff’s Penthouse. Gavin and Ryan joined him as they agreed, Michael emphasizing his dismay with a few choice expletives aimed at Mother Nature and the weather._

_“Technically, we could still go on with it, even with the rain, we’d just have to drive a bit slower.” Ryan’s voice never rose above his usual soft murmur as he replied to Michael’s anger._

_“Us? Slow? Please, Ryan, be reasonable! If anything, we’d just have to take wider turns or something.” Michael smirked and patted Ryan’s shoulder, “Besides, if it’s raining, could we just take one of the old sewer paths?”_

_“They’d be half flooded by the time we finish the heist, dickhead, c’mon now, use your common sense.” Geoff entered the room and ruffled Ray’s hair._

_“‘Use your common sense’ he says, ‘We’re still going on with the heist’ He says.” Jack muttered as he also entered the posh living room of Geoff’s and nursed his lukewarm coffee._

_“Wait, you mean we’re still going on with it?” Michael sat up straight with an incredulous look on his face, and his expression only brightened when Geoff simply nodded his head._

_“Gavin’s downstairs prepping the vehicles and taking some extra precautions with the getaway vehicle. If you want, you should probably check on him.” Geoff smirked as the others immediately stood up, the lads because of their eagerness to join Gavin in preparations, and Ryan for wariness and his new mission to make sure that Gavin didn’t somehow rig everything to blow._

_But then again, Gavin had proved himself time and time again before that that he was actually fairly useful with a wrench and his computers, despite his insistence on the existence of headlight fluid._

__

_Eventually, the Crew had finished their preparations. The cars had been fitted with specialized tires to get as much traction as possible with the rain on the streets, and all of the guns and explosives that the Crew had armed themselves with had been loaded with ammo to spare in individual packs._

_“Well, boys, I guess we’re ready!” Geoff grinned as the others whooped and celebrated. Well, the Lads were the ones doing the celebrating, Ryan and Jack just smiled and enjoyed the pre-heist high. “Nothing could possibly go wrong with this heist! We’ve planned--”_

_“Geoff, as much as I respect you and owe you my life, but if you start sounding like an Old Bitch today, I might actually leave for Terrace Park.” Ray grinned and avoided the soft nerf gun bullet that Geoff had brought down with him as a joke and easily slid into the back seat of the Dubsta that Jack had decided would be the best car for the ride there._

_Little did they know how wrong a heist could go._

__

_“You have got to be kidding me!” Geoff hollered into the Crew’s comm link and ducked under a steel table for cover. Ryan snuck into the same space and gestured towards the back door in the corner, his mask obscuring any kind of expression. Michael and Jack had holed up near the front doors, Gavin’s cameras had been either shot out or completely blocked, and Ray had visuals on multiple incoming police cars._

_Gavin’s garbled screams came out as the two Gents heard an explosion in the other rooms. “Gavin?!” Ray’s voice came clearly in their ears through the comms, his distress apparent in his voice,_

_“I’m good, boys, just got a bit scared.” Gavin’s voice came quietly in, as if he were just whispering, “I lost my last visual on you all though, so I’m a bit miffed right now.”_

_“Aw, sad you can’t see our beautiful faces from your little den, boi?”_

_“Oi, shut up Micool and get yourself and the others out safely, Lindsay would have my arse if you got killed or worse!”_

_It seemed that someone had called in a team from the nearby military base and therefore destroyed every hope that the Crew had for a clean, easy heist._

_It didn’t help that Geoff had targeted the most influential bank in El Logro and arguably all of the District._

_The getaway route that all six of the Crew had agreed upon was compromised, multiple trucks and vans carrying military personnel had blocked almost every route save for a sketchy alleyway that led to the docks, and none of the Crew were quite sure if the alley was safe, nor could they reach any of the cars from the alley without coming in contact with the police or military._

_“All right I’m calling sudden republic, on the count of three: aye for the alley, nay for we hold it out in the bank and take our chances with the po-po.” Geoff muttered into his comm and shouldered his rifle, “One, two, three!”_

_“Aye.”_

_“Nay! Neither dri--”_

_“Aye.”_

_“Aye.”_

_“Aye! Jack shut up.”_

_“And I say Aye, so I guess we make a run for the--” Geoff was cut off by three sudden explosions that sounded right outside the bank, “What the fuck was that?!”_

_“Dude! Some guys are just tearing through the po-po! It’s like the fourth of July or something!” Ray’s voice bubbled through the comms, and before the rest of the Crew could respond another explosion rocked through the building, and something akin to battle cries could be heard from the entrance of the bank, “You have got to see this, one of them’s got a minigun! Oh, well they’re entering the bank, so I guess you’ll see it soon enough.” Ray’s laughter bubbled through the comms and Geoff and Ryan heard the approaching chaos of people with guns._

_“Hey, Adam, this place looks a bit… Hit.” A man’s voice sounded, and soon enough the dust settled enough for Michael and Jack to see a man casually holding a minigun and standing in the entrance._

_“Well, that would explain the Police and Military you just gunned down, Bruce. Remind me to call Lester to get your new bounty off of you.” Adam followed and passed Bruce, taking point as he scoped out the bank._

_“Hey, we were here first, Assholes.” Geoff stood up and waved his rifle, Ryan grabbed at Geoff as if to pull him down behind cover because Holy Hell, Ramsey, do you have a death wish I sure hope not but Geoff merely waved his hands away and smirked, “I’m Geo--”_

_“Holy shit! Adam! It’s Geoff Ramsey! Leader of the Fake AH Crew!” Bruce ditched the minigun in favor of running up to Geoff and shaking his free hand excitedly._

_“Right, and you are..?” Geoff rose his eyebrow in question. Adam walked up to Geoff and held out his hand,_

_“We’re Funhaus.”_

* * *

“It was because I saw us in them. They were the same snot-nosed kids we were when we started the Fake AH Crew.” Geoff sighed and rubbed his face, “I’m not a sappy guy, Pattillo, but those seven men were enough to remind me me of us two and the others when we recruited them. Especially the Lads.”

“I know what you’re talking about, we basically looked at them like they were puppies, which I’m sure the old Company did when we were just starting out.” Jack grinned at the memory of the “good ol’ days” and let himself get lost in the memories, but only for a moment, of course, “Of course, Geoff, there is still the topic of what happened the Funhaus today.”

Geoff only groaned in response and braced himself against the railing of the balcony. Jack waited, keeping his silence until Geoff finally muttered an “All right, get on with it” and waved his hand for Jack to continue,

“Geoff, the Funhausers have been compromised. Their base, one of the member’s houses, has been completely trashed.” The silence following Jack’s statement was tense as Geoff lost his breath for a moment, recalling some key phrases that he had heard come from Adam’s mouth during his phone call.

Jack flinched when Geoff let out a bark of laughter, and frowned when the other man stood up straight and wiped a fake tear from his eye, “Please, Jack, we’d know if something happened, I mean, we bugged their cars and everything we could without actually knowing where they lived!”

“They got new cars from Adam and Joel, I’m pretty sure that half of them only live in hotels and move around a lot, and everything else has been offline for months. There would be no way for us to know unless you bugged their actual places.”

Geoff grimaced and let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, and Jack replied in like. Neither of them were exactly willing to face the consequences of letting their leash on Funhaus slacken a bit, and neither were willing to admit that their carelessness had basically caused a rift between the two gangs.

“Well, either way, we didn’t do anything, all of the others were accounted for, and Adam should know that we didn’t do anything, nor would we. They saved our hides once or twice to at least earn our trust.” Geoff crossed his arms and grimaced at the recollections of his brushes with death before the Funhaus Guys had swooped in.

"You say that, but Funhaus has no way of knowing who did, and neither do we. I mean, it could be Ray and Tina for all we know, even if the last time we saw them it was on their farewell get together for when they left for Los Santos." Jack sighed and looked out to El Logro.

"This is turning out to be a real shitstorm, and we don't even have the BrownMan to call when everything hits the fan." Geoff muttered, joining Jack in looking wistfully towards the sunset over El Logro.

"Who says it hasn't already?"

Geoff simply huffed in response, a small smile played on his lips.

"You never know bud, it could get a lot worse." Geoff's smiled widened, but his grin would quickly be wiped off his face, for as the two men looked out onto their "domain", they would witness an explosion. An explosion that was eerily close to their largest weapon cache that was owned by both The Fake AH Crew and Roosterteeth Supplies.

It was a signal of a start of war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and now you know the Fake AH Crew's/Jack & Geoff's viewpoint,  
> but what about the Creatures?  
> What are they up to??  
> WHO KNOWS???
> 
> I do. I know.
> 
> anyways, apologies if this seems rushed and kind of not as quality as you would hope? as of again, I'm sick with /something/ and neither of my nurse parents rly know what, so i've been kinda not in the writing kind of mood lmao  
> anyways, idk about the status of the next chapter being put up in the next week, but I will attempt to soldier on!!!
> 
> None of this has been edited yet, nor proof-read, I will get to at least the latter part when I feel better and capable.  
> constructive criticism is greatly appreciated, especially if you could point out some mistakes in my writing because i am a lowly child that wishes to learn from you beautiful people okay im shutting up now :'') 
> 
> @ homelandsociety.tumblr.com


	3. Duck and...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so amongst other things, i am a sick baby and i am sorry for the super long hiatus but i may be going on another one after this has been posted! hopefully and more likely to be shorter than the last one of around four months. i am so sorry!!!! D:

The people of Terrace Park spoke in whispers.

Well, not necessarily whispers, but a profound silence would always come of the room whenever certain topics were touched upon. Topics such as what happened in the city to the West one year ago and cats mysteriously disappearing one day and returning a week later. But one topic hushed crowds, one title made a room empty, as if the mere utterance of the name would bring upon them a curse or a hunt.

The Creatures.

They were a small crew that had made Terrace Park their home in a matter of days, even dubbing it their lovely little “Treetopia”, a home away from home, for them. They were professionals, in a sense, as they had established a widespread network in Terrace Park in no time, with a reach that could even reach El Logro.

 

“Alrighty, Boys, job well done today, the shooting range will be reeling for days.” A man burst into a room backwards, tipping his red hat towards the three other men following him.

The other men simply muttered back replies, some snippier than others, before practically dogpiling on a luxurious leather sofa in the middle of the living room. “Jordan, do we really need euphemisms for what we did today? I mean, all things considered, my performance was stellar, we don’t need to cover that up.” One of them men said as he took off a mask that eerily resembled Optimus Prime. Jordan merely smirked as another man piped up, a noticeable English accent coloring his words,

“Aleks, we really don’t need to make whatever we did as gay as possible. It’s unnecessary.” The other men snickered at the Englishman’s reply, meanwhile Jordan shouldered his crossbow and refused to partake in the conversation, merely smirking at the conversation.

“I mean, we could reminisce on how much penetration we did.” Another man piped in and avoided a poorly aimed mask,

“All right, let’s stop with the euphemisms,” Jordan muttered as he left the room in favor of the kitchen and some food, “Aleks, Dex, James, you’re on guard and surveillance duty with Dan and Seamus.”

“Aye aye, cap’n.” Dex mock saluted to the door that Jordan had disappeared behind and shouldered past James and attempted to push Aleks off but gave up when the other man simple batted at his hands and let himself go limp on top of both Dex and James.

“Dude get off--”

“Do you think that the plan’ll go according to plan?” Aleks interrupted James’s protests,

“Jesus, listen to yourself, ‘do you think that the plan’ll go according to plan’? Pfft, yeah, the plan’ll go accordingly. It’s like when you asked ‘what have you guys been doing up to lately’. Jeez.”

“Hey.” Aleks gestured for James to lean in and listen, before whispering a monotone, “Shut up.” And patting James cheek before pushing him away.

Meanwhile, Dex had simply just given up and let his fate of him becoming a cushion for the Russian to lay upon befall him.

 

"Y’all want to see the fallout in action?" A voice sounded from the hallway opposite of the kitchen entrance, and the owner of the voice was revealed to be a man with a light blonde streak in his otherwise brunet hair.

"Hell yeah, but this lazy-ass won't get off!" James punched Aleks in the shoulder and slapped his arm repeatedly until the other man squirms on top of James and Dex's laps. Dex pushed Aleks off and grunted when the other man kicked him in the stomach in reply.

"Aleks, c'mon, we need to hurry to get front row seats to the best show of the century!" Dex pleaded and Aleks paused before rolling off of the two men's laps and tumbling into a standing position,

"Shotgun!" Aleks muttered and sprinted towards the conference room. Seamus rolled his eyes and swiftly stepped out of the way as the two other men scrambled to catch up to Aleks. He watched as the three practically stampeded down the hall towards one of the rooms around the corner, and started to join them before getting an alert from his phone,

“The Interns are starting Phase Two of the Plan, focus cameras ten through twenty on Main Street and cameras one through five on the warehouses. We’ll be set in ten minutes. -Kevin :)” “Try to get the best angle on the Roosterteeth Warehouse we got those fireworks from, we got them wired up, if u know what i mean -Kevin ;)”

Saemus snorted and senta  quick reply of affirmation and a quick ‘you dont have to sign your texts, u dork’ ‘-ssohpkc ;)’ before grabbing his laptop from his room and walking towards where Aleks, James, and Dex had run off to.

“You little shit!” James yelled as he struggled with not slipping on the hardwood floors with only socks adorning his feet.

Aleks smirked and dodged the older man’s body in James’s attempt to tackle him and dove onto the plush carpet and pillows in the aptly called “Hacker’s Den” that Steven and Dan had set up for both observation and action during heists and work.

“Oh, the dogs are being loud again, Dan.” A flat voice sounded at the door as James, Dex, and Aleks barrelled into the Den, and Dan turned to the three that had just entered the room and the owner of the bored voice.

“Well, they are probably still excited after what they did today, Aron, I mean, they did just start a war, after all.” Dan flashed a crooked grin and lazily propped his feet on the leather ottoman across from him.

Aron simply grunted a disinterested response and returned to his phone as Aleks and James sat on the carpet in front of the tv screen. The two fidgeted at the spots as they eyed the camera views, their movements not dissimilar to that of small children waiting for a movie to start during class.

Dex, on the other hand, let himself fall onto the leather wrap-around sofa that Dan was sitting on and grabbed the bag of M&Ms on that rested next to his sock-clad feet.

“When’s the main event starting?” Dex said to the whole room and got a few noncommittal shrugs and noises of ‘I ‘unno’ in response, to which he only groaned at.

Seamus reached the door and silently connected his laptop to one of the monitors that displayed a view of El Logro’s warehouse district and adjusted the views of each camera.

“Hey Seamus, any news on where the Interns and Kevin are at?” James raised his hand like he was in class as he asked the question and Seamus looked at him with a ‘are-you-really-doing-that’ look and simply pointed lazily at one of the monitors that displayed five men and a woman stood at a street corner waving at a camera.

“How long do you think they were standing there waving at the camera?” Dex snickered at the thought of the group standing there dumbly waving at the streetlight that housed the camera for an hour as Seamus sent a text detailing the Creatures’ reactions and that the Interns + Kevin could stop waving now.

Seamus watched the monitor as Kevin looked down at his phone. Everyone could see Kevin’s shoulders shake with laughter as he tapped Spencer’s shoulder and held his phone up to show him the text from Seamus. Spencer paused mid-wave, looked straight at the camera, and slowly let every finger but his middle fall into a fist, and mouthed a very obvious ‘fuck you’.

The guys at the base got a few chuckles at that, but they quieted down as Jordan walked into the room and the Interns + Kevin left the view of the camera and walked into other monitors. In a moment, all five of the Creatures that were displayed on the monitors entered multiple cars (one of them a very badly trashed Aston Martin, something that caused Jordan and Dex to cry out when they saw who was driving it)(It was Kevin).

“Weren’t they supposed to start the fireworks show?” James cried out as the Interns and Kevin left the views of the cameras, and Seamus simply rolled his eyes and pulled out a small burner phone, and tapped in a code,

“Nope, I am.”

“WHAT! I WANT TO PRESS THE BUTTON.” James lunged for Seamus, which led to Aleks protesting and joining the struggle for the sole control of the remote. Amidst protests and many expletives, Jordan crept up to the three and eyed the controller that had been kicked a foot away from the scuffle, and grabbed the controller.

“Hey now, children, please settle down, we have to start the movieeeeeeee.” Jordan sang as he walked over to another empty spot on the sofa and held up the controller.

The three sputtered and scrambled to get to a comfortable position (well, James sat back on the plush carpet, Aleks joined Jordan on the leather sofa, and Seamus sat back in his chair in front of his laptop).

“Don’t you want Kevin and the others to see what they set up?” Dex asked before Jordan pressed the single button on the remote. Jordan simply grinned as everyone’s eyes widened at the ‘fireworks’ display on the screens.

 

“I’m sure they’ll see it fine from where they are. _In fact_ ,” Jordan stood and started walking to the exit, but turned to his crew, the display illuminating the background, “ _I’m sure that the whole city will see_.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @homelandsociety.tumblr.com
> 
> this has not been edited nor proofread because i am a sad sack of human flesh, if you'd like to change that, feel free to become a beta or something! message me! yell at me to be responsible! please!
> 
> all that said, i for sure will be editing this once i've finished the whole story lmao


	4. Cover!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so sorry that i update so randomly but it's me not you :')  
> also this is significantly short than the first few chapter and i'm just? ok?  
> idk what's happening but i might as well let this go on faster and shorter?  
> eh, tell me how y'all feel about this.

It didn’t take long for Adam to leave the room out of spite.

Honestly, it surprised him that he managed to stay in the same room as the others for as long as he had, especially with their never ending cyclical conversations and pointing fingers.

The door shut behind him, muting the rising voices of the other Funhaus Crew members, and Adam sighed with relief at the sudden escape from responsibility. He rubbed his eyes and leaned against the door of the house that the crew had agreed to outfit and use as a second base, just in case Lawrence’s loft had been compromised, which, obviously, it had.

“You know, if you don’t help them now, there’s going to be hell to pay later.” Matt’s voice resounded in Adam’s head, to which Adam simply groaned and let himself slide to the ground, eyes shut and shoulders still tensed,

“Yeah, but why the fuck does it have to be me? Why not Lawrence himself or Joel? They’re better at this debating thing. I mean, here I am, talking to some incorporeal figment of my imagination that sounds just like one of my friends because I’m stressed about a fucking gang war that might be happening, cut me some slack.”

“Incorpo- Kovic, open your eyes.”

“Oh.”

Matt sat across the lawn, settled on a park bench that someone had somehow brought to the house as either a joke or some kind of trophy. He smirked at Adam and took a quick gulp from a can of beer that Adam had not noticed before (but, to be fair, Adam didn’t even notice Peake in the first place).

The two sat in silence for a minute, both flinching as they heard a crash and the back door slam from a distance,

“That must have been Bruce.” Matt mused aloud, “Maybe you should get back in there. Do some damage control”

“Why don’t you? Why are you so calm, anyways?” Adam frowned, making it a point to glance at Matt’s beer can,

“Because I’m not as concerned with our base being compromised as the rest of us are. I’m more concerned on why it happened and who actually did it.” Matt shrugged and let the now empty can fall to the ground.

“What do you mean, 'who actually did it'? It’s obvious, the Fakes did it.” Adam frowned, and gently bumped the door with the back of his head in defeat and confusion. Matt simply hummed in response and glanced at the street.

It was empty, the whole neighborhood was run down and the houses around either collapsed or on the verge of desolation. The only building that stood tall was the house that the Funhaus Crew currently resided in, and all of the Funhausers were thankful that no one had taken the chance to investigate it.

“I’m not so sure, Adam. Don’t you think it’s a bit too abrupt? Too clean?” Matt said, and stood up from his spot. Adam shrugged, and listened to the voices behind the door,

“I didn’t know you were one for conspiracies, Matt.”

Matt only smirked and huffed in response, before stomping on the can and stepping towards Adam,

“I guess I’ll head in and do your job, Boss.”

“I never wanted to be called that, you know.” Adam stood up and let Matt reach the door. Matt paused as his hand gripped the doorknob and looked Adam in the eye before simply responding with, “I know.”

As soon as Matt entered the house, Adam rubbed his face and sat on the porch step, a safe distance away from the door, a choice Adam found was lucky when the front door burst open and both Bruce and James came tumbling out.

Their arms were locked together in a struggle to keep each other’s hands from forming a fist and connecting with the other’s face. Joel and Spoole followed, but at a distance and noticeably less aggressive.

“What the fuck is happening here?!” Adam stood up immediately and struggled at separating the two men from each other's throats. Matt walked back onto the scene with an annoyed grimace on his face as he settled to stand next to a fearful Joel.

“This dumbass- guh- said it was my--”

“That’s not fucking true you dipsh-”

“ENOUGH. I’ve heard enough already.” Adam screamed into their faces. In the shock of the moment, he pulled the two apart and stepped in between the two men. “Where’s Lawrence?” Adam asked, noting for the first time that the last member of the team was missing.

“He wasn’t in the house when I came in.” Matt interjected and Adam’s frown deepened as he turned to Joel and Spoole,

“I haven’t seen him since yesterday.” Spoole shrugged,

“I just arrived like, five minutes ago, Adam.” Joel chimed in and shuffled his feet as Adam sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Whatever, I'll look for him later.”

 

“Now why were you two trying to kill each other?” Adam turned to James and Bruce, watching them visibly calm down and take deep breaths.

“James, here,” Bruce paused to send a heated glance towards James, “Tried to insinuate that we should just talk to the Fakes after what they did!”

“And why shouldn't we? We don't know it was them!” James immediately rebutted, but Bruce was ready for That as he lunged towards James with clenched fists.

Spoole and Matt immediately pulled Bruce and James apart and struggled to keep the two from ripping each other's throats out.

“We’ll talk to them tomorrow, Bruce. James is right, we can't know it was them until we see solid proof.” Matt reasoned as Adam looked at the sky as if it would hold all the answers he needed.

“What? How was their emblem fucking painted in our safe house NOT proof enough for you?” Bruce pulled away from Spoole’s hands and rubbed his shoulder. He barely noticed how hard Sean's grip was when he was struggling against it, but after escaping he burn of the sudden lack of pressure was easily noticeable.

“BRUCE. Both of you, shut the fuck up! Let me think!” Adam took a step towards Bruce, who only glared at Adam as he continued to massage the slowly forming bruise on his shoulder.

“All you've been doing is thinking! And what have you thought up, Boss?” Bruce snarled and took a step towards Adam. Their chests almost touched, and if the situation weren't as heated or potentially explosive, Adam would swear he would hear a distant chant of “Fight, fight, fight! Kiss, kiss, kiss!”

“Adam, I'm sorry to say, but Bruce is kind of… Right. At least, he's right about the you not taking action part.” Joel stepped up between the two men and pushed them apart. Adam frowned and waited for Joel to continue,

“Look, I'm not saying that the Fakes are definitely the culprit, but we can't just sit here on our asses and snap at each other's throats. It's counter-productive, and we won't get anywhere without going anywhere.” Joel reasoned. He glanced both at Bruce and James, both men just stood in silence as they waited for Adam's response.

“Look, we'll talk about this tomorrow morning. We all need to sleep this off, and fighting about it isn’t doing us any good. Don't murder each other overnight.” Adam said. He brushed past the rest of the group and retreated into the safe house, his shoulders heavy with the arguments and the thoughts and the what ifs and why and why nots. He was tired, and he wasn't sure when the line between tired and homicidal would blur.

James pulled away from Matt's grasp and glared both at Bruce and Matt. He didn't say anything, and barely looked at the others as he sauntered into the safe house after Adam, his shoulder squared and his brow furrowed.

Bruce simply snorted and walked the opposite way, ignoring the looks from Sean, Matt, and Joel.

If Adam and James weren't going to do anything about this atrocity, he sure as fuck wasn't going to sit and let the big bad Fake AH Crew shit on their crew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't worry i didn't forget about lawrence
> 
> as per usual, this is all basically first draft / speed edited so there may or may not be a ton of errors? pls message me on tumblr or comment if there's anything that particularly bothers you :')
> 
> @homelandsociety on tumblr


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